


Sherlock Holmes on Facebook

by Shirogin



Series: Sherlock Holmes on Facebook [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-20 07:22:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16551461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shirogin/pseuds/Shirogin
Summary: What would happen if the characters of Sherlock were registered on Facebook?Between Sherlock who tries to socialize, John on the verge of hysterics, the return of Jim Moriarty , a suicidal Mycroft and a lot of other characters...Prepare for trouble!





	1. An Eventful beginning...

**Author's Note:**

> Hey
> 
> Nice to meet you, i'm Shirogin, a French Sherlockian.
> 
> I had already post this fiction in french on another website but i wanted to share this ... masterpeace in english !  
> I had already post 20 chapters in french so I'll try to translate this as soon as i can here.
> 
> Sorry for the possible mistakes, i will try to change that  
> Enjoy 
> 
> The characters of Sherlock don't belong to me (it is only a beautiful source of inspiration) but to Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss. Facebook doesn't belong to me either (just like the movies quoted)  
> Possible Presence of spoils on the characters but nothing very nasty.  
> Ps: in my fanfiction, certain characters died in the series are n

# Chapter 1

_Sherlock Holmes, The Consulting Detective just registered on facebook_

_John Watson, Greg Lestrade, Mary Watson and 16 other people like this_

 

_Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective, John Watson, Mary Watson, Molly Hooper, Greg Lestrade and Mycroft Holmes are now friends._

 

Molly Hooper : Welcome in our group !

_John Watson and Mary Watson like this_

 

John Watson : Mycroft i am not really surprised but... you often use your computer  
to watch your brother... is it your habit? Or is the whole country you are watching?

 

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : It is the British govenment. That's all

_Mycroft Holmes, Greg Lestrade, Anthea and 2189 other people like this_

 

Greg Lestrade : I think it is the main goal... Baker Streat became a strategic point of security after all...

_Mycroft Holmes, Philip Anderson, Sally Donovan and the Scotland YardGROUP like this_

 

Sherlock Holmes le Detective Consultant : Donovan i am surprised too. You have an interesting social life on your facebook account..

_Molly Hooper like this_

 

Sally Donovan : Well, screw you è_é !

 

Sherlock Holmes le Detective Consultant : Oh ,smiley now ? So interesting, is it a new fashion style ?

_Molly Hooper like this_

 

Sally Donovan : Grrrrr... who invited him ?

_Sherlock Holmes le Detective Consultant like this ça_

 

Molly Hooper : John and me

 

 

John Watson :  
Donovan and rhetoric, it is like Anderson trying to be insightful during an investigation and sharing his point of view with Sherlock, an impossible thing or a pre-made mistake in fact.

_Sherlock Holmes le Detective Consultant and Molly Hooper like it_

 

 

Philip Anderson : But... i didn't say anything ! Leave me alone !

_Sally Donovan like this_

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

John Watson :  
I am relieved that we have no more enemies or concerns in sight for now ... between those who died (Moriarty for example), those locked in prison and the others kind of psychopaths we are quiet for now!

 

_Greg Lestrade, Mycroft Holmes and 13 others people like this_

 

Mycroft Holmes : Indeed.

 

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting detective :  
In your place i will not speak too fast, Facebook is a "public" site according to its users.

 

_Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal , Irène Adler and Eurus Holmes like this_

 

  
Anthea: Something tells me that the security of the country will not be played on a duel of puzzles, diplomacy or firearms but by discussions on facebook.

_87 people like this_

 

  
Mycroft Holmes: .

 

Anthea : I feel that my holidays will pass ..

_Greg Lestrade and Sherlock Holmes the Detective Consultant like that_

 

MollyWatson :  
Uh, is it normal that Moriarty likes a comment when he's normally 6 feet underground?

_John Watson, Greg Lestrade and 191 others people_

 

Greg Lestrade : I already imagine the consequences

 

John Watson : Which are ?

 

Sherlock Holmes le Detective Consultant :  
Let's just say that Great Britain may soon be no longer as "Great"

_Jim Moriarty le Consulting Criminal and Mycroft Holmes aiment ça_

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

John Watson : Sometimes I feel like being surrounded only by psychopaths and strange people...

_Sebastien Moran like this_

 

Mary Watson : No, i worked for the CIA BEFORE meeting you.. so everything is fine !

 

Molly Hooper : No, i just work with (dead) corpses.

 

Mycroft Holmes : No (i only kidnapped you one or two times but it was for work)

 

Jim Moriarty the criminal consultant : Hum.. give me 5 secondes.... oh i don't have an answer to that ! :)

 

Sherlock Holmes le Detective Consultant : I am not a psychopath but a high-level sociopath, you should know it after all this time "lol".

_Molly Hooper like this_

 

Mary Watson : No offense Sherlock but i think you shouldn't use "lol". This whole thing just make me feel weird.

_Mycroft Holmes, John Watson, Greg Lestrade and 3 other people like this_

 

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : I thought thatwould make less psychopathic and more sociopath. I'm deceived

 

John Watson : It is the contrary ...

_Mycroft Holmes, Molly Hooper and 11 others people like this_

 

 


	2. When the problems start !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : Even for now, i don't understand the interest of Facebook. Can somebody please explain it to me? 

John Watson : Firstly it was to help you socialize in the modern world Sherlock. It is also a good thing for our fan (on my blog), to show them that you are an human being..  
Mrs Hudson, Greg Lestrade and Molly Hooper like that

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : Mrs Hudson on Facebook ? ?  
Mrs Hudson like this

Greg Lestrade : Besides that, it is a good way for you to find more inquiries, to glean information during your investigation or to cultivate you. You should look on the bright side no?   
John Watson like this

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : Boring.. How could i glean informations and knowledge in a place where talking make you lose gliales cells..  
Mycroft Holmes and Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal like this 

Mrs Hudson : What is your problem with social networks Sherlock ? It isn't healthy for you to remain locked into the apartment by firing at walls or by speaking to human members my boy.  
John Watson and Greg Lestrade like this

Greg Lestrade : "my boy" 

Molly Hooper : Some of "them" can teach us many things you know ..  
Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective like this

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : Other arguments ?

Molly Hooper : Facebook could help you to talk with your partners and client ?  
John Watson like this

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : They only have to make the trip, I am not their psychologist.  
Jim Moriarty The Consulting Criminal like this

Mrs Hudson : I think you need it  
Philip Anderson and Sally Donovan like this

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : ...

Mycroft Holmes : Interesting...

Mrs Hudson : Don't ask too many questions... reptile

Mycroft Holmes : ...  
Jim Moriarty The Consulting Criminal like this

Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal : Housekeeper: 1 Holmes: 0. It is fun, i like it !  
Sebastien Moran like this (too)

Mycroft Holmes : With all my British class and my gentleman's manners...go to hell Moriarty!

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective, John Watson and 8 other people like that

Jim Moriarty the Consulting Detective : it is rude :(  
Mycroft Holmes like this

Mrs Hudson: And I am their landlady, not their housekeeper !

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jim Moriarty the Consulting Detective like '' Staying Alive'' : Bee Gees.  
Jim Moriarty the Consulting Detective like playing to "Terrorist City".  
Jim Moriarty the Consulting Detective like "The Gaelic games"  
Jim Moriarty the Consulting Detective like the Rocket Team

Mycroft Holmes : He is back, For our biggest misfortune..  
Jim Moriarty le Consulting Criminal like this 

Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal sent an invitation to Mycroft Holmes : "Let's confront each other on the game Kingdomcrown Epic on Governtheworld.org

Mycroft Holmes : Is it a threat ? I'm not interested by your childishness  
Anthea like this

Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal : Ohhh the elder Holmes is afraid to be kicked in front of his younger brother ? So cuuuute  
Sebastien Moran like this

Sherlock Holmes : You've got to kidding me !  
John Watson, Anthea, Sebastien Moran, Moriarty's network and the British Intelligence services like this

Mycroft Holmes : You will not come to cry after !  
Anthea like this

Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal : You should see me as a king ! *shower himself with flowers and compliments*

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective *throw the vase at him*  
Mycroft Holmes like this

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastien Moran like : "Bet the future and the balance of the country with Facebook ''  
Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal like it

Philip Anderson commented : it is sad..

Moriarty the Consulting Criminal : uh... who are you ?  
Sebastien Moran , Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective , Mycroft Holmes and 1213 personnes like this

Anthea : Aie.  
Philip Anderson like this

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : I changed my mind, Facebook seems to be a great thing for humanity  
John Watson and Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal like this

Greg Lestrade : Yes... with psychopaths..  
Sally Donovan like this

Philip Anderson : *Go jump into the Thames*  
Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think i will post the next chapter tomorrow
> 
> If it is ok for you, don't have any hesitation to leave some kudos or share your ideas


	3. When Mycroft blows a fuse

Chapitre 3 : When Mycroft blows a fuse

Mycroft Holmes needs your help in Kingdomcrown Epic , Accept his friend demand to support him in his quest !

Mycroft Holmes need your help in Kingdomcrown Epic, Join his army to support him in his quest !

Mycroft Holmes needs your help in Kingdomcrown Epic, help him move on by offering him presents to support him in his quest !

Mycroft Holmes needs your help in Kingdomcrown Epic, take care of his fields to support him in his quest !

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : Clearly there is a problem.

Anthea : Yes apparently it is the universe which has a big problem  
Intelligence british services like this

Mycroft Holmes : A categorical defeat against a crank hurts always more than an umbrella in the ***!  
Jim Moriarty the consulting criminal like this

Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal : "crank", so cuuuuuuuuuute  
Richard Brook like this

Mycroft Holmes : Grrrr he annoys me so much  
Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal and Richard Brook like this

Jim Moriarty The Consulting Criminal : :D

John Watson : By the way, who is winning or has already won between you two at your (stupid )game ?

Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal : Me of course !  
Sebastien Moran like this

Mycroft Holmes : He's a cheater.

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : It is you who is bad.  
Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal like this

Mycroft Holmes : With its criminal empire and all his "partners", he can have all the materials he needs ! I cannot do that Sherlock.

Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal : The head of the intelligence services of Her Majesty? Who saw that coming ?  
Sebastien Moran and John Watson like this

Mycroft Holmes : And I am in prison for 2 days because of him, you realize?  
Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal aime ça

John Watson : But how ? How can't you get out with your contacts? 

Mycroft Holmes : No i can't ! I can't either use my money or my relations... and i am sure it is because of this Ostrogoth !

Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal : (People having lived during the Antiquity I would remind you...)

John Watson : How long will stay you behind bars ?

Mycroft Holmes : almost one week   
Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective like this

Sherlock Holmes le Detective Consultant : Some privacy in my private life in fact..  
Eurus Holmes like this

Mycroft Holmes : How dare you ?

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Molly Hooper : I don't understand something with your situation Mr. Holmes...

Mycroft Holmes : What ?

Molly Hooper : Instead of continuing to try to get out of jail ... why are you staying on Facebook?  
Mrs and Mary Watson like this

Mrs Hudson : Destiny maybe ?

Greg Lestrade : Could you develop? Which prison ? Are you still in the country?   
John Watson, Mary Watson and Scotland Yard's members like this

Mycroft Holmes : I was captured in the Middle-Earth by some mercenarie because my army had failed to intervene. They were trapped in the Ostrogoth Kingdom. I was supposed to go on an crusade with other knights...I'm sure it is because of Moriarty.

John Watson : ....  
All the connected people (except Mycroft) like this

Sherlock Holmes le Detective Consultant : So much deceptions in my life....

Mary Watson : We can understand the link with the "Ostrogoth" term at least now  
Jim Moriarty the Consulting Consultant like this

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anthea had joined the group ''My Boss is a geek but everything is alright"

Sebastien Moran had joined the group ''My Boss is a geek but everything is alright"

Mycroft Holmes : Nobody can help me with this situation ? And i'm not a simple geek 

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : Oh no sorry I already spend a big part of my invaluable time to help idiots in the real life so... in a virtual world little for me.

Mycroft Holmes : For me, revenge is a dish best served hot.  
Jim Moriarty the Consulting Criminal like this

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : Magnificent demonstration of what is quite obvious..  
John Watson, Greg Lestrade, Sebastien Moran and some American Sherlockians Fan like this

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jim Moriarty The Consulting Criminal : Let's play another game together !

Sebastien Moran : The sentence which makes the whole world tremble.  
Jim Moriarty The Consulting Criminal like this 

Sherlock Holmes the Consulting Detective : You want that we play with you too? You want judges, admirers, new toys on Facebook ? irritated

Jim Moriarty The Consulting Criminal : But... that's a greaaaaaaaat idea Sherlyyyyy ! :D I will prepare the next game from now. You be aaaaaaaall obliged to participate and you too my Sherlyyyy.

John Watson : "Bravo Sherly". Thanks to you a second game is coming. We find ourselves in a so beautiful shit as in the precedent, except that this time there are no solutions to eliminat or go out of it !  
Anthea, Sebastien Moran, Mycroft Holmes and other person like this

Sherlock Holmes : ...

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Private chatroom]

Sebastien Moran : Hey, what are you doing ?

Anthea : I'm watching a really good movie before the beginning of the War ''M vs M''

Sebastien Moran : Which movie ?

Anthea : It is on a guy whose woman was killed by a sérial killer. A few years later his son with motor disability is kidnapped and the father has to travel thousands km to find him. He has for only help a mental deficient woman.

Sebastien Moran : Oh that sounds great ! What's the name of that movie ?

Anthea : Finding Nemo.

Sebastien Moran : Fuck yourself.

Anthea :b

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think ?


End file.
